Friday, July 30, 2010

The Perspective Life

Life throws the most awful of turns to really make a person evaluate themselves and things in their lives. In times of hardship there are 3 things a person wants, other than being alone, one is a boy to snuggle with and know that he really cares about whats going on because he truly cares about you, two going out with your girl friends to distract the be-jesus out of you, and third your family to settle you.

Well when your family is equally sharing in the events and your girl friends either are MIA or have done all they can do, the last thing to turn to is a boy. Now, I am a very independent girl and never have nor never will be solely dependent on a man in her life to feel worth. But at times like this I would love for there to be that one guy that will let you put your head on his shoulder while he plays with your hair and will let you cry, talk or do nothing until you feel better. There is that light at the end of the tunnel when you get just the inkling that the guy you chat it up with actually cares(random things that show it isn't a one sided friendship, which sometimes I wonder about this certain person). These are the times when I wish for a main squeeze ;), like when you need someone who truly whole heartily cares and would do anything with you just to be with you. No distance is to far and nothing is to much of a hurdle to figure out. But, other times it is not needed, like I am not one of those girls who needs a guy with her all the time, I like to be able to have them around sometimes, I dont like anyone to stress about when they are going to hang out. I think it all should come naturally*. *Now naturally only occurs once you have branded yourself with that title.

That gets me to my next random thought of the day, random to you yes to me no, I was watching TV and it sparked thought. If your hanging out with a guy who has been a friend but you want more. WAIT for the guy to make the move. Girls have an easier time forgiving if a guy tries more than friends and misses the boat the girl is floating on. But guys, oh gosh guys dont know how to handle themselves if a girl acts out to be more than friends and it isnt mutual.

Oh random...who the heck drives around with their cat in the car? I totally saw that today I was like WTF mate.

PET PEEVE of the day: Dont initiate conversation via anything and than quit out with out saying something to signify you are not going to respond anymore, especially if the conversation was meaningful.

Quote of the day:
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Irony that we call life

I hate how little events are the reason I write in this blog. I wish that I was the type of person to write in blogs just for the heck of it, not only to vent in a round about way. I think my venting is to show whomever is reading it that they are not alone. Anyways tonight is the first night in a long time that I have gone out party style, and tonight was the first time that I really seriously got irritated at girls that I assume to be my best friends. I think the reason I got the most irritated was that I assumed a friend would save a girl from a situation they weren't enjoying but unfortunately I didn't seem to find that to be true. I get the most irritated because I know if roles were reversed I would stop flirting with any sex pot man to help a friend out a situation. Unfortunately for me my whole evening was ruined by one sleezy, drunk, fondling dude. It is great for this dude to think that I was gorgeous, but he was just so slimy that I couldn't even try to make the situation go well. I am sorry dude but trying to grab my booty and boobs and licking ur fingers in a awkward way are sure as hell not going to get me to come dance with you. Oh and I am sorry that I don't find be sexually danced on while you are a happy guy to be something enjoyable.

These events occur time and time again and after every incident I still find myself re living the same scenario later. I think it is because I hope that the next time will be different or that my true friend will shine through. and everytime I am just let down even more. I am sorry that I am not about meeting guys at bars because the kinda guys you meet at bars are not the ones you want in your life long term. I am sorry I dont like getting wasted and losing all my common sense. I am sorry that I like to have a little fun while being sober and not feel like the odd one because sober is a better mindset on me. I am sorry that I feel like there other ways to meet a future husband outside the bar arena. I am sorry I love girls night out, but I dont like the girls sometimes.I just wish things could be different.

Pet peeve of the day: Drunk guys/girls that think because they are drunk all common/social expectations no longer apply to them. Yes making out drunk at the bar is still the same as doing it sober.

Quote of the day:"You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
-- Bernard Meltzer

Monday, July 5, 2010

....and with this things really do change....

I haven't posted in a bit. I guess life happens faster than my fingers can type. I spent this last weekend for the fourth with friends from high school. It saddens me that every summer it gets worse, the gap just keeps growing between us. I was sitting in the back seat on the ride home and realized how different it all is. I mean it has always been them and me not us three. It comes with the territory of going away for college I guess. I just think there is such a divide now that I it is more stressful and emotionally tiring to try and mend this gap.
This weekend was filled with realizations for me. I mean it was quite serene out on the beach. I realized there is one guy that I am all for, but I think he doesn’t either see it or is just too shy. Either way I am not the kind of girl to wait but I am the kind to have them vested in the back of my mind. But I am done worrying, I am just going to do me. If they don’t like it than who really cares because living with my mantra at the end of the night you only have to answer to your true self.
Ohh if you are feeling philanthropic check out I am one of the honoree’s also you can donate under “nadina’s beacon of hope”
Pet Peeve of the day: you health nuts out there, preach to yourself. People don’t need to hear your constant opinions on what things are good and what things are bad. To each their own. It is so annoying to listen to an argument over organic blueberries and store bought blueberries. Get over yourself. Some have their own way of enjoying life!
Words to get you through:People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
Thats all for now...ADD has set in :)