Thursday, April 19, 2012

It is Thursday!, I can't turn my brain off

Ok, brain is a racing.....  I figure I will blog it out :)  
I had a friend the other day tell me I should teach a class about flirting, how awesome would that be?!  I know I can teach others how to flirt, but taking my own advice HA. It was ironic the same day I got this text about teaching  this flirting class, this girl at school asked me to help her text flirt... yup got her laid hahahathat you .  I know, I know.... crazy...  I was excited but shooooot why can't I take my own advice, do you know how successful I would be if I did?! 

OK... soooo hypothetically speaking... ha...right hypothetical, you hook up with this guy after a good amount of time  of "singing & dancing"  around the idea... wouldn't you want compliments, I mean not necessarily  compliments, but come on a little "that was....., or shoot where ......  come from....."  just a little something, something   to say hey  awesome

Like I said... brain WILL NOT SHUT OFF! Figuring out the line between convenience  and sincerity....  like this constant communication is occurring because I am available for it, or because they value the conversation? Same goes for everything else, how to find the difference between the two...  I have a lot more going on about this topic to come later with my blog "he is just that into you"  spin off the idea of  He is just not that into you, the movie and stuff helps you figure out if he isn't into you...what about figuring out if he is...  I almost think that is harder!!!! 

Even though plans change, they only change to allow for the truth to happen.  What is truly hard is figuring out what the change has opened?????

Good luck! & Good night :)

Monday, April 16, 2012

Challenges help define you, but don't break you

What we have face us and how we overcome them, are true testaments to the type of person we are.

I was recently "seeing" a guy, I use the term seeing very loosely because we fell quickly before he left for a long distance gallivant.  I have a hard time writing this blog because I feel like the last ohhh 9 months were a bit of joke... it was like having a pen pal  you had known only for 3 months... instead of signing "write soon" we wrote "I love you"....which don't get me wrong I easily could say I didn't love him...but that wouldn't be true.....  I have written many blogs about love...  I know I wear my heart on my sleeve that is because I care for a lot of people far before they care for me.... Call me emotional, call me hopeless but you can't call me uncaring. I would rather wear my heart on my sleeve then not wear a heart at all. But now that, that is said...we can move on.... for the purpose of this blog I will call it a relationship..but don't think it was.... it was nothing of the sorts...  It was a good time, good stories, great friend.... he was there when I needed him most, some of the time....  he was the friend  I needed at the time I needed....  
There were things I regretted during that time, but that only taught me how to change my future since I can't change my past.  I guess you could say it was a mutual ending only because I wasn't willing to "wait"  around for him to figure out how awesome I am... I know I am awesome, but I don't need to wait around for someone to think and figure it out..... the person that is going to be worth my time will realize that from the get go and get to constantly experience it.... I sit and think about what a future could have been...  it all would have been a lie...a complete  180 from the life I lead now...  and I know I said I was willing...  and I would be, but I don't think I could have been for him...  because he wasn't giving as much as I was giving... and healthy relationships require give and take... So I guess I get to thank him for trying to over think  things that ended the relationship...  I am happier, which is hard because I was happy all along...  I have since met people that show me I can have the type of religious/cultural balance that I want, because I want, not because I have to.... The give and take is there...or has the potential to be there...either way it will be fair. 

Life is a ongoing lesson, Moral of this lesson:

Go with your gut---Your instincts, your family and friends usually are correct, no  matter how much you want to deny it.....
Listen to your heart ..&  mind....Don't put all of your heart into something your head isn't into
Love works the way it is suppose to...  sometimes you don't realize it right away
Tears are a waste... don't cry because in  the end... it just wasn't meant to be and you can't change that.

 This is what I want, what everyone should be allowed  to have 100%  of the time:

Happy Living & Hopefully Loving

LDR and the coulda woulda shoulda

Ok, where to start. When venturing into a long distant relationship there are many, MANY scenarios you could find yourself in:
Scenario 1:
You are in a serious committed relationship for 2+ years(this is important because of the "1 year itch")
Scenario 2:
Been together for 1-2 years, with talks of Marriage
Scenario 3:
Been together for 1-2 years, without talks of marriage, or living together
Scenario 4:
0-12 months in the fun stages and just learning about each other
Scenario 5:
0-12 months and have talked about everything including love, future and life.

Depending on what scenario you find yourself, it gives different ways of handling the long distance. Those in scenario 1 are more likely to have a hard time than those is other scenarios, the way I see it, you squeaked by on the 1 year itch, for those of you who don't know, the 1 year itch is where some relationships fail, about 1 year if they feel suffocated or have become to much into the relationship and lost touch with not relationship stuff.
If you compare scenario 5 and 1, the likelihood of success lies in scenario 5. Think of it this way, in scenario 5 you haven't gone through enough of a routine to feel empty with them being gone, instead you get to still have your single-hood(when I say single, I most certainly do not mean being with other lovers, I mean working on yourself as a person, you can't be a good pair if you are not a good individual) whilst working on the most important part of a relationship, communications. Because in scenario 5 you still have the infatuation with the concept of future with out the possibility of boring day to day issues. Doing LDR after realizing you are with your soul mate, you have the chance to fall in love with their mind and communication. Because when your looks go, and things become old, all you have left is the way you communicate. It is said that people rush into marriage, doing LDR is away to avoid that. I believe being successful in a LDR is being independent, understanding, descriptive, faithful, open, trustworthy, and a little dorky. I'll go into the dorkiness a little later(it helps with showing how you think of them and that you are thinking of them)

Bottom line, if you want it, it will work. You just have to be truthful and upfront with what you want exactly both in your heart and to your love. No sugar coating, no hoping you will feel different later on. Worst feeling from LDR's can be the feeling of wasted time, or feeling like you were a holding space until something better came along. In the end, love never fails.

cheers and happy loving