Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Say Hello to Goodbye.....

Call me sappy, call me emotional, call me whatever the french you want to call me. But when you care about someone(no matter the degree) and they leave it is a bit sad... I think the saddest part is know that before they leave you are wondering what to say, how to react, because you are unclear of how things are suppose to be. I mean OBVIOUSLY I am talking about a person of opposite gender(I mean seriously..) And if there is no clear line in the sand and you do not want to assume things for fear of being let down, there is literally NOTHING a person can do but ride the wave of the storm you have been dealt.
I swear there are so many things a person can think whilst in this situation. I mean so you have this guy who puts out normally, ohhh a bit of effort into hanging out/seeing eachother. Than RIGHT before they are about to leave they actually start making the time for you, you wished would have occured before. These types of people are the people who could be afraid of a few things: 1) Commitment, they can put all this effort before they leave and know internally that it is temporary and hopefully you will forget it by the time they come back. 2) Losing you, Its like leaving with a good impression. These are the last few things you will be remembering whilst they are away, isn't it great that they are the few times they made the time and put the effort..cheeky right?!
Overall it kinda just sucks, to add to the suckage, not knowing when you will see them again, talk to them etc... This is fine for a person you are use to seeing or talking to once in a blue moon....but when you literally almost see the person every day and defintely talk to them EVERYDAY. It will take some getting use to the change. Not like I am a needy person and NEED this, buttttt it is a nice thing to have.
Than to top this all off you wonder where they stand in all of this, so whilst you are trying to rid yourself of a pattern that has been created for the past 5 months you have added thoughts on if they are thinking that much about(which if they are a man, its highly unlikely, because, well they are MEN, but sometimes you get the broken mold type.)
THEN to top the things off you have SO much to wonder about when there is no line in the sand. Like I knew they were leaving, and had ALL these questions but TOTALLY chickened out on asking them because I was afraid of the answers. Like I would LOVE to know where I stand, or more or less where he stands, but I don't REALLY want the answer, unless its something I want ;). I am not one to pressure things out of a person, although my last relationship we decided we(I told him we were) were "dating" because we figured, we spent all of our time talking, hanging out, and we liked each others company. I dated that guy for like 6 years. So maybe I should pressure....nawhhh..... I think a man needs to come to his own conclusions and than act on them. I don't like to press, but at the same time I don't like waiting. Even though I am CRAZY for a guy, if they don't reciprocate in some form to let me know that I am not wasting my time...I will painfully move on. I am not saying it will happen easily or right away but ultimately a person can only express interest for so long with out being verbally affirmed, because lets be honest physically cues are IMPOSSIBLE to correctly figure out. Basically on this, maybe this is why the shy guys get left behind, because they can't commit or they can't express interest.

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