Saturday, September 4, 2010

.:.I think some need to re-learn how to be a friend.:.

I think the more I hang out with an awesome friend I learn how much some of the other ones are not as good. Side note I thought it would be very beneficial to learn/educate myself on the true logical analysis of things not just me ranting. aka searching "how to maintain a friendship" I found this great article that gives a "how to".. I found this one from ehow.com called How to Maintain a Friendship,

Most people go through life with a handful of real friends, and a crate full of acquaintances. A friendship, like any other relationship, takes time to cultivate and build. Like a seedling, it is planted, cared for, fed nutrients, observed and appreciated as it grows into something flourishing and beautiful. In order to grow the very best friendship, it is necessary to put in the time and effort to maintain a friendship.


Just in case you read this and wonder if you are a friend or acquaintance, take these steps they explain for some interest of inquiry.

#1Be an equal contributor to the friendship. Make sure your intentions are one of a giving nature, and not one of expectation. This means you are willing to give to the relationship so that it grows, and that the giving should be mutual. You do not want a one-sided friendship where you are constantly giving of yourself, while the other person sucks all your efforts dry without contributing.
#2Learn to listen. Sometimes, a friend is not looking for an opinion or advice, but rather a sounding board to vent to. They often know what they need to do and have to do, but being able to express an uninterrupted thought may help them arrive at a more positive way to handle the situation. Of course, there will be times where a friend will elicit your non-judgmental advice, and then you want to give them the responsible words that will help them through the circumstances.
#3Inspire and encourage your friend. A true friend will be the other person's best cheerleader. They will encourage them to make responsible decisions and motivate them to be the best person they can be.
#4Be tactful when pointing out a friend's mistakes. You have to realize that they may not be aware of the mistake they made or may have felt justified in what they did. Use a good example, be sincere and honest, but do not harp on the situation till you are blue in the face. You will both wind up walking away with hurt feelings and a possible loss of friendship.
#5Try not to be a clingy, needy and controlling friend. A healthy friendship needs breathing room, and a quality friendship will withstand the test of time and distance. Sure, you may enjoy spending time with this person, but you do not want to stifle the friendship by being with them all the time.
#6Make sure you are reliable and can be counted on. In other words, saying you will be somewhere, means you will be there, and, when you cannot be, you are courteous enough to contact them ahead of time.
#7Know when to agree to disagree. It is okay to have differences of opinion, because that is what makes each person in the friendship unique and interesting. But, arguing over little things that are really insignificant and petty can and will destroy the friendship.
#8Learn to keep private information private. When a friend confides in you with private information, it should remain between you two and not be blabbed to anyone else. Unless, the private information is something that leads you to believe the friend is in danger or in a harmful situation, then you should help them seek out help. This may involve seeking the advice of a third party, a professional that can help you best assist the friend.
# 9 Share and celebrate successes, milestones and accomplishments, as well as be the shoulder for the not so good times. Who better to share the good and the bad with than a friend?


I think the best part of this article was that in the Tips and Warnings was: When a friend brings more negative energy to a friendship, the relationship may become toxic. In this case, you have to know when to let a friendship go.

I think there are just things a person needs to realize, when things are lost they are just going to be lost. I guess you live and learn in life. It was a good ride while it lastest, maybe some day you will realize I was the best friend you will have.

To Read more: How to Maintain a Friendship | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2150199_maintain-a-friendship.html#ixzz0ydG28wOq

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